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Talking's Just A Waste Of Breath Chapter 4 

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12th-Aug-2008 08:56 am
frerard
Title: Talking's just a waste of breath, and living's just a waste of death
Author: Me
Rating: Probably NC-17 at some point.
Pairing: Frank/Gerard
P.O.V. Frank's
Summary: Frank's troubled. He's 16 years old, and after just losing his brother and Dad in a car accident, has moved to new jersey with his mother. He's always been an outcast, and never been understood. He's scared this new place is gonna be just the same...but this time it's worse with the grief. Will he ever find anyone that understand's him?
Disclaimer: not real.
Dedications: Melody (my wifey - chemicaldreamsx - you all know her =P) and ickle_pattikins (happy late birthday! I think I'm late anyway :P)
Author's Notes: Okay, so I'm off today, for the entire day, and therefore may write some more of this, in between doing summer homework, so that I don't run out of chapters to post =]

For anyone readin My Way Home, we'e planning to at least start chapter 60 tonight, and hopefully finish it, so you may get chapter 59 today, if I can be bothered to type up. 

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3

---------------

Frank's P.O.V

  I got home from school that night feeling slightly happy. I'd actually made 'friends'. I'd never had anyone show even a little bit of kindness at school, and to be honest I wasn't sure how to react. I was happy, until I got to my room. Then, I saw the picture of Dad and Jake that I have beside my bed. I couldn't help it, a tear ran down my cheek. I looked right into my Dad's eyes. I had his eyes. Why did he have to be taken? He'd always try and console me, when I came home from school, after a day of lonliness and ridicule. I guess you can say he was my only proper friend. My only friend full stop. He'd be so happy to know that I had made friends. While thinking of all this, I'd taken the photo off the table and fallen onto the bed with it clutched to chest. More tears were falling down my cheeks, faster this time. This had become a regular routine during the last couple of weeks. I knew I had to stay strong for mum, help her get through this, but I needed to grieve as well. My room was my sanctuary in which to do this, even if my mum heard.

Through my tears I heard my phone, and saw it blurrily lighting up. I grabbed it attempted to calm myself and wiped my tears before picking up. 

 "Hello?" 

 "Hey, it's Gerard." Oh I forgot I gave him my number. Ah this is not the time. 

 "Oh hi..." 

 "Urm, are you okay? You sound like you've been crying?" He asked and I cringed. Damn sniffly nose. 

 "Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Urm, this isn't really a good time..." I began. 

 "Hmm, okay, I'll ring ya later yeah? Are you sure you're okay?" He asked again.
No.

 
"Yeah. I'm fine don't worry. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye." I said. He also said bye and put the phone down at the same time.

  I yawned. I needed sleep. The Anti-depressants seem to be the only way to get some lately. I reached for the bottle and took one. Ten minutes later, I felt drowsy, and fell into sleep.

*Dream* 

 "Hey kiddo." My dad said smiling. I ran to him, jumping on his lap giving him a huge hug. My mum came in from the kitchen, sat on the arm of the chair and put her around both of us smiling. The perfect family. 

*Scene change* 

 "Frank honey, you're going to have a little brother or sister." My mum said, Dad beside her. "Oh my god! I screamed hugging them both. 

*Fast forward 10 months* 

  I held my little brother in awe. He was so sweet and had mine and dad's eyes. I knew from that moment that I would dote on him all his life. I hugged him tighter, whilst my dad put his arm around me. 

*Fast forward 2 years* 

  There they were. The two most brilliant people in my life, in wooden boxes. Standing in the graveyard around the two graves, side by side, I broke down. I couldn't take it. Images of them in the hospital flashed in my mind. Them lying there, their face cut up and bloody....

I sat up, breathing deeply. This was about the 5th time I'd had this dream. It was recurring. The deaths of them, were haunting my happy memories of them. Tainting them. I couldn't think of them happily, remember the happy times I shared with them wthout remembering the horrific way they died. I bought my knees up to my chest and sobbed. Sobbed harder than I have before.

A/N: Also, can you tell me if I've missed anything? As in if anything doesn't make sense i may have not changed it and not realised. =D

<3

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